Allow me to be grey. And by “grey,” I mean VAGUE.
If you’re response to the title of this blog was to keep reading because you are interested in what I have to say about you-know-which book, you probably already know too much.
Let’s be honest, the book you’re thinking of is absolutely everywhere, and unfortunately there is very little “grey” about what you know. If you are like me, you already know what the book is about. You probably know what the cover looks like. You might even know a good portion of the story line. You also know who of your Facebook friends has been reading it. And finally, you probably know enough to conclude that you should not be reading it.
A month ago, I had never heard of the books that shall not be named. Today, I could tell you more about them than I care to admit. I have not read them. I’ve never paged through them. I didn’t read a summary or book review on Amazon. Nope, I can’t credit any of those sources for my knowledge.
So where did I learn about the book? Other Christians who were declaring their stance against it. Other Christians who felt called to warn their readers of the impure nature within the pages of that book. Other Christians who spread the word through Facebook, blogs, online comments, and Twitter that the book is nothing more than X-rated entertainment for women.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the warning. Sometimes it is useful to know a little bit about parts of the entertainment business that are sucking in the hearts of those around us. Perhaps what is most alarming and thought-provoking about this particular book is the large and enthusiastic following it has attracted.
And you know how people are: If a crowd gathers around a scene, we want to work our way inside to see what all the fuss is about.
But as I said before, I know too much. My guess is that you know too much, as well. I saw the crowd gathering, and I heard a gentle warning from a woman who kept her distance. Sadly, that gentle warning spiked enough of my curiosity that I snuck over to the edge of the crowd to hear more of the details. I thought, “Hey, these are people I know and trust, people who believe the things I believe, so surely it can’t hurt to get this close.”
But maybe it can hurt.
You can’t un-read what you’ve read. You can’t un-see what you’ve seen. First Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality…” FLEE. Colossians 3:5 says, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” Put to death.
Scripture is full of firm warnings against sexual immorality. We are to flee from it. RUN! Put it to death! If we see a crowd gathered around something that is WIDELY known as sexually immoral, what should we do?
FLEE.
By indulging our curiosity, we are indulging the desires of the flesh. The consequences of this indulgence will hurt in ways you may not realize. It might be as simple as building a judgemental spirit towards those that are embracing the sexually immoral nature. (Is it possible that just reading the title of this post had you thinking judgemental thoughts?) It might lead your mind away from what is pure and inspire your imagination to take you places that are JUST as sexually immoral as the book I am speaking of above. It might lead you to bring the topic up in conversation for the sake of gossip and worldly conversation and draw others into the temptation of this curiosity.
So I plead with you: If you care to warn others of the dangers of sexually immoral idols, like a book or other forms of entertainment, do so in a way that is as GREY as can be. Simply stating, “I know enough to know that it is sexually immoral, and we are to flee from it,” is a great place to start it and end it. Anything more, I believe, is keeping what is sexually immoral alive, whether you realize it or not.
So true! Once something is in your head, it never leaves. A family member had a magazine that they never should have had and as a young teen, I happened upon it. Those images are burned into my mind, and while I may forget them at times, they still come back when I want them the least.
I can relate, for sure! It is scary how easily we commit things to memory. I’ve heard many people, men and women, share of similar experiences to yours. Purity is a battle that we can’t afford to ignore!
The media is blowing this way out of proportion, and you have bought into it. Maybe its NOT a book Christian women would enjoy, but the same can be said about a historical novel about Adolf Hitler. If you haven’t read the books yourself, you really shouldn’t talk about them. I don’t walk around discussing neuroscience, because I haven’t the faintest clue about the subject. The book is not this immoral, horrific, pornographic novel it is being made outto be. Its not worth getting so worked up over that you need to write ranting blogposts about something you have no knowledge of. Praise the Lord, instead. You’re good at it and have a vast knowledge of it.
I’ll admit, I hesitated when publishing this post for the simple fear of others misunderstanding the heart behind it. I prayed about it, read it over many times, and was sure to edit out anything that might provide extra insight into what this particular book is truly about. I decided to publish this post, not as a reaction to the book itself, but rather a reaction to how our fellow Christians have responded to this particular book with more detailed information than is necessary or fruitful. As I mentioned, and you echoed, I have not read the book and I do not plan to speak on it. I have, however, read several Christian reviews and comments on the book that have left me wishing I had not read them. My hope is that this post will help readers consider what it truly means to flee from sexual immorality, and be discerning in how far they are willing to let their curiousity take them. If I have failed to communicate that well, I apologize, and I thank you for your feedback and giving me an opportunity to explain myself better. Thank you for your kind words, and thank you for reading!
Great Word Tyanne! I hadn’t thought of it from this perspective but you are right, we sometimes get as close as we can to the “thing” we are avoiding just out of curiosity–and that can be damaging as well. I can honestly say that I don’t know much about the book except that a friend told me to stay away from it and I’ve seen a buzz about it on the internet. I hope to keep it that way.
Blessings!
Mary Beth
Thanks, Mary Beth!
Yes! This book gets me all fired up! Well, rather, the fact that Christian women are OK with this book and think it’s just innocent entertainment is alarming.
And you absolutely do not need to read a book to say, “Hey, this book is sexually immoral”, anymore than you have to try heroin to know that it’s bad for you.
Thanks, Elizabeth! You are absolutely right: No need to read it, and no need to read more about it from others who have read it! It’s the same with all kinds of entertainment out there. Often when looking at movies, one of the first things a parent looks at is the rating. If it’s rated beyond what is appropriate for their child, they don’t need to look any closer, right? If only we could have biblical ratings on everything that would warn us with one letter and leave it at that!
I haven’t read the book and neither do I care too. But, like you, I can’t help but hear, read and see things because of all the HYPE. In our lives we have to live with the choices we make. Good or bad. Everyone’s convictions are not the same and instead of being judgmental about the book, or a movie, or any other “thing” that is of the world, we as Christians need to remember that we are not to judge others but we are to live a life that is pleasing to our Heavenly Father. Our convictions may not be the same, but we each have to live by them. When we don’t, God will show us that we are in the wrong. I have failed Him many times, and all I can do is repent, get back up and get back at living my life for Him. Thank you for posting your heart!
Piper, thanks for writing and sharing your response. You are right on the money by pointing out we are not to judge others, but focus on living our own life in a way that is pleasing to God. Sometimes God uses others to teach us what is right, convict us of how we have done wrong, and draw us to repentence, however. We always need to be careful to not mistake Biblical rebuking between believers for unrighteous judgement. We are called as Christians to use scripture to rebuke and reprove one another when necessary. (I think that’s a great topic for a future post here!) Again, thanks for commenting! I appreciate the encouragement.
Great post – it is hard to discuss issues that fall in that grey area of life that doesn’t always line up with Christian lifestyles – it is hard because the desires of the flesh and world are so powerful. I’m glad you wrote what was on your mind, even if not everyone will want to hear it, let alone agree, but that is what having the freedom of speech is – saying your peace, and allowing others to say their’s.
Marissa @ forfunreadinglist.blogspot.com
I was just saying something like this to my husband last night. The more hype there is (about anything), the more curious we get. And the more curious, then the more likely to “check it out for ourselves.”
It is good and necessary to offer a warning, if it’s within your realm of expertise (for instance, someone who blogs about marriage). But leave it at that. Don’t keep bringing it to people’s attention. Don’t keep something sinful in the forefront of our minds.
You are so right! I am usually not one to join in the hype or add to the hype, but in this case I was so affected by the hype that I couldn’t help but suggest to everyone that we put the hype to death! (That’s a lot of hype in one sentence
)
Thanks for reading and I’m glad to hear others have had similar thoughts and reactions!
Good points! I posted re: the dangers of this book on my blog earlier this week.
I did read some of the reviews – 2 to be precise. The first review was a warning that this book is badly written – so bad it could have been written by a teenager! I didn’t even read through the whole of the second review!
I don’t have a judgemental approach to those reading this book, but I certainly do have concerns both for Christians as well as non Christians who are reading these type of books. We need to be so careful what we fill our minds with… I believe we can give the devil a foothold and an open door to do mischief if we bring such material into our homes, lives, minds.
I agree with you that the ‘hype’ just feeds more into the unhealthy interest. With hindsight, it probably wasn’t even wise to look at the reviews.
I agree, Wendy, it is a dangerous thing to bring such material within reach of us. The internet definitely makes it a challenge to keep a perfect distance, though, with Tweets and Facebook feeds at our fingertips drawing us into the subject matter. I hope this post will help others be more careful with their curiousity. I know for me, just going through the process of learning too much about the book, confessing it and writing about it here has helped me be more intentional with where I let my thoughts wonder and what I am willing to read online. Thanks for reading and commenting!
I just wrote a post about avoiding things that are innapropriate. For me an MA rating on the tv tells me that I am mature enough to turn the thing off. As a society we are getting so far away from goodness. Society used to uphold good things. Now they uphold an anything goes kind of approach. It makes it difficult to navigate it. It makes me cry when I teach the young people in my church. Immorallity is so commonly accepted even among our Christian youth. They do not see anything wrong with it. They do not have any good reference points. I am trying to be a light unto them. For some of them, I think that I am one of the few people that are a light and expample. We as christian women should be a light and example to all around us. I am really trying to be a shining light in a very gray world.
Bless you for being a light! It’s true that our culture has fully embraced impure lifestyles and entertainment. Sexual immorality is the new normal, and it is difficult to teach God’s truth to the public without being condemned by others. Remember to focus on the light – light always overcomes darkness! Blessings and strength to you!