“I learned it from my husband” is a regular tribute to all the ways my husband is fulfilling his role in my sanctification process as described in Ephesians 5:25-26 “…cleansing her by the washing of water with the word.” You can read previous posts in this series here.
Happy Labor Day, friends! This weekend marks four years since my husband and I “became one” by entering into the marriage covenant together. While four years feels quite small next to our friends recently celebrating 10, 20, and even 50 years together, it is such a blessing to look back on each year with awe and gratitude for what God has done in our marriage.
In honor of our anniversary, I would love to share some lessons we have learned together in our marriage. As promised, marrying another person brings great opportunity for spiritual growth and refining, and God has been so gracious to us in allowing such joy and pleasure for us as we have experienced this refining fire.
We have learned so much together in this short four years, but for today I will share with you ten big marriage lessons that God has laid on my heart time and time again:
-
Marriage belongs to God, is given by God, and is sustained by God. Trying to make it into something of our own will always end poorly.
-
A Christian who is married to another Christian is not guaranteed freedom from being “unequally yoked” as described in 2 Corinthians 6:14. While both are believers, if one spouse is not keeping their faith in Christ at the center of their life and marriage, that yoke will undoubtedly tilt.
-
Luke 15:7 says: “Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.” With this verse in consideration, I find it no surprise that I am far more delighted and attracted to my husband as he lays his heart out in repentance with a humble heart than I am in times of bliss and perfection.
-
Never does our marriage feel more alive and thriving than while we are serving God’s people together and pursuing the will of God as selfless, sacrificial servants.
-
Never does our marriage feel more dead than when we are focused only on ourselves and pursuing what is comfortable and convenient.
-
Serving one another in practical ways, such as homemaking and income earning, mean nothing if we are not serving one another in the eternal ways by loving one another selflessly, praying for each other, and lowering ourselves to better the other.
-
It is a difficult, humbling experience to submit to your husband.
-
It is a difficult, humbling experience to lead your wife.
-
There is immense joy and peace in seasons of hardship when your hope is place in Jesus Christ, while there is great fear and worry in seasons of hardship when your hope is placed in your spouse’s ability to change, work harder, acheive better, or repair what is broken.
-
As John Piper says, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him,” the same is true within our marriages. The world will try to convince you that marriage is about finding satisfaction in your spouse. The truth is, God is most glorified in our marriages when both husband and wife are most satisfied in Christ.

Happy 4th Anniversary! Thanks for the great reminders about a God-centered marriage.
Thanks, Elizabeth! Hope you’ve had a lovely Labor Day!
This is an awesome post, Tyanne, that I’m excited to share with others. Thanks for taking the time to write it. And happy anniversary, too!
Thank-you, Elisa! I’m honored to have you share it.
The world will try to convince you that marriage is about finding satisfaction in your spouse. The truth is, God is most glorified in our marriages when both husband and wife are most satisfied in Christ.
AMEN.
Great post.
Emily
http://www.weakandloved.com
Thank-you Emily!
Thanks so much for stating “marriage is sustained by God.” I sometimes forget that only God can give me the strength to walk through difficult times in my marriage. Great post, I am stopping by from titus2sdays. Let us stay connected at deloranow.blogspot.com
So glad you stopped by! I too can easily forget that God is the only source of sustainment. I don’t know how I can keep fooling myself into believing I can do a better job somehow. Yet the Lord reminds me again and again that He has the strength, not me.
I remember when I was student teaching that my professors always told us that the best teacher is one who can reflect on her lessons and the methods, figure out what went right or wrong and adjust accordingly. I think the same is true for marriage…keep reflecting and figuring out what needs to be tweaked but it’s also good to see the good lessons you’ve learned and the ways you have grown. The lessons you guys have learned are some of the most crucial ones!
They’re all great, but I especially like #10. We’d have so few messes in our marriages, if we’d get that one right. Great post!
Amen and Amen, especially to number 10! Happy Anniversary!
Thanks for linking up with WIP!
Happy Anniversary! Thanks for sharing these fabulous insights into marriage!!!